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Music saves our souls
navigations are the fours lines of lyrics. they are profile, entries, tagboard and links navigations respectively (from the top). |
Tuesday, December 30, 2008, 5:17 AM
Unlucky Chicken Feet
Right after seeing the chicken foot I happened to decide to adjust my bra. Some auntie saw and glared at me. Then not long after I felt something tickly on my leg. I brushed whatever it was away with my hand, only to have it crawl there and reveal itself as a big fat fire ant. Then while I was walking through the park (only it's more like a forest/woods with various paths that bring you to the same place and a playground at each end) some weird liquid dripped on my hair. I hope it was leftover dew from the trees' leaves and not monkey piss. The funny thing is,I was thinking, man, jus add a cheekopek to this list of unlucky stuff and that would complete it. And some minutes later some cheekopek came round on his bicycle and happily and possilby hornily greeted me as he went past. What's WITH these bicycle cheekopeks anyway? 2nd time already -__- I bet they love bicycles cos they can masturbate on the seat while riding. When I got to the pool the sun was shining the sky was blue the lifeguard on duty happened to be young and hot and everything looked nice and rosy. Man was I wrong. Another unlucky thing. Alas, at the side of the pool was a group of about 5 FATTIES BASKING IN THE SUNLIGHT AND BLOCKING ONCOMING SWIMMERS. They were all trying to teach themselves how to float. (Which was rather simple cos fat people float more easily right) Fatties blocking your way is bad enough. FLOATING fatties blocking your way is just plain evil. Then some were happily floating backwards, not caring if they were about to bump into any unsuspecting people who were ACTUALLY SWIMMING and not jus bumming around. Seriously man. After I swam 4 laps, they progressed from trying to float to trying to sink. (Which was also rather simple cos fat people are heavier and can sink more easily right) What did they even go to the pool for if they weren't gonna swim? I bet it's cos they wanted to feel a sense of accomplishment cos they're all rounded (see the pun?) in water tricks but lousy at running or any other sport. They are good at floating, yet they are good at sinking too! Wow I wish I was talented as that, no matter how much I try, I just can't sink! :( Luckily it was a weekday cos the SAFRA pool isn't very full then. Weekends it's like hell okay wherever you swim there's some slow fatass blocking you and you can't swim fast even if you want to cos they're in your way. And it dosen't help that nearly half the pool is cordoned off for those taking lessons. I especially hate it when those people swimming freestyle don't bother taking a look at their surroundings once in awhile, then they bang into you. And those breaststroke people seem like they're gonna stroke your breasts when they outstretch their arms cos it's so damn crowded/they take up so damn much space. NOW i know why it's called breaststroke. :O And then many times I accidentaly kicked some people, and once this guy told me "Ouch! That was a very hard kick!" (Like who ask you to swim so close?? ORH BI QUEK.) I didn't know which part of his anatomy I kicked, though I think I had a good idea, and after that my foot felt reeeeaaally dirty. D: Now I'm gonna say something that will insult alot of fat people. Sorry to those nice fat people who mind their own business, and my nice fat friends, not that I have many of those (maybe 1 or 2). Don't read this. But if you're an irritating fat ass who couldn't care less about people around you, then this is especially for you: You know what I think, there should be a separate pool just for fat people. So that they can all be slow together and not annoy people who are actually swimming. Only that this pool won't have water, it will be a pool of fats. Maybe we could get surgeons to donate the fat taken out from people's liposuction appointments, since no one needs it. (Though some people may use it to fry their food, I don't know.) So they will know how it feels like to swim in a tub of lard. And then since fats are hard to swim through they will have to use a damn lot of effort, and they will burn more calories! Then when they finally slim down they can be allowed to go back to the normal pool :D HATE FAT PEOPLE WHO ANYHOW BLOCK MY WAY! Okay enough about fat people, there's something else I encountered at the pool. These 2 fathers brought their sons for a swim, (I really hope they weren't a gay couple.) and while I was resting I kinda overheard their conversation. Okay more like accidentaly on purpose. Anyway one of the boys, who was about 9 years old, was asking his dad, "What's a marathon?" Dad: "It's like a race where you swim a few km without stopping" Boy: "Wah a few km. I can't swim that much without stopping" Dad: "Yeah lah you! Why you can't even swim a few km?? Haiya..!" Boy: "At least better than those people who cannot even swim what" Dad: "Why you can't swim properly??" Boy: "Eh Daddy look at me I can stand in the water by myself! See!" Dad: "What's so great about standing in the water by youself? Big deal lah.." Boy: "Daddy see!" Dad: "Aiyah what's so good about that you tell me? Aiyah you can't swim lah.." Other Dad: "At least your dad can, hahahaha" Dad and Other Dad: "Hahahahahahahahahaha......" Dad proceeds to tell the Other Dad how "useless" his son is. Boy: "IDIOT! You loser! Idiot!" Dad: "Ehh cannot like that ah..." Boy: "Then why YOU not swimming?" (Dad and Other Dad were happily sitting at the edge of the pool while Boy was in water. Other Dad's sons were swimming somewhere.) Dad: "Aiyah...I'm relaxing what..." Boy: "WHY YOU NOT SWIMMING??" Dad: "Aiyah...I'm appreciating the sound system!" Boy: "IDIOT..." Dad: "Eh...!" BULLSHIT lah the sound system also not so good. It's just two big fat speakers situated near the lifeguard place. And the songs also not so nice. And it comes out all mumbly. Boy proceeds to swim out to the centre. Dad: "Eh come back! You can't swim there! You're not a good swimmer yet!" Boy: "IDIOT!" Dad: "Cannot cannot. You don't know how to swim properly." Boy comes back. Boy: "Idiot! Stupid! You loser! Idiot! ......" etc etc. When I saw them going off he was still saying all that. Way to go, kid! What the hell lah that guy's dad is a fucking bastard! He totally deserved all the insults from his son. First he tells his son off for not being able to swim properly, then when his son tries to swim he tells him off again! So how's he supposed to learn if you keep putting him down and preventing him from swimming?! At least teach him how to swim lah! Or don't tell me the Dad dosen't even know how to. I bet he dosent, judging by what a fucking loser/idiot he is. His son really summed it up, there can't be any other words for him except LOSER, IDIOT, and STUPID. (Other than FUCKING BASTARD) That Dad should win the award of LOUSIEST DAD IN SINGAPORE. (I was about to type LOUSIEST DAD IN THE WORLD but then I remembered those Monster Dad people who locked their daughters up in a dungeon and raped them and made them pregnant repeatedly. YOU'RE FUCKING BASTARDS TOO!) |
thedeceptionists
I don't owe anyone a f*ckin' explanation. You fell in love With the Girl at the Rock Show. She said, "Why?" You told her that you didn't know. And when the lights all went out We watched our lives on the screen |
partnersincrime
Ashlynna Alisa Azaac Clarissa Crystal Denise Farah Kester Nazihah Murnira Victoria Xin Yuan Your Best Friend's Scandal Funny Shit MinahSpeak.LJ We Love Emo Google The Website We Made For You backtoyesterday
+ Hot Tranny Mess + Damn Gross + Our Great Portraiting Skills + Cute strawberries and double assholes + The 3 degrees of emo + Installation art + Headaches will kill + 7 things + When he had black hair... + The world is orgies wheni'mgone
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An accidentality production Inspiration from DancingSheep & BONBON:D |
theventingmachine
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